Thus.. haha actually I can use all real names right?
When dad died, things changed for the worse, mainly because mom sorta ” checked out” mentally speaking.. she seemed to not really care much about anything. Not even us kids. Everyone.. all adults, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors would ask mom” how she feels” and was she OK? But I don’t remember one, not even ONE person ever asking me.. how I felt. My dad’s death knocked the wind out of me.. it had me so sad, so depressed and so confused I cried day and night. My sis and brothers were affected also, but they were younger and less powerfully affected than I. I suffered a living hell and no one ever even once asked me.. if I was OK. I dealt with it all alone and the only one I would talk to about it, was my best friend.. God. To this day I do believe my talks with God are what pulled me through. He patiently listened to me and to me it was as if he often dried my tears. What a friend.. we have..
In Jesus? Jesus was someone I had heard of often.. afterall he was the one in that crib in the Christmas pictures. Ja.. that was him.. but noone ever explained to me who he was, because ” Son of God” didn’t tell me a whole lot.. you know? So I yet had to figure out how my best friend, God, had a son, and what was he for? What was important about him? I could not figure this out, so I left it alone and just kept talking to God, my very best friend. His son must have been a good guy too I figured it’s just that I didn’t know where to place his importance. God was all I needed then.. and he was always there for me. What did Jesus mean? had to wait a bit… very little did I know how he would impact my life many years later.
But.. later is later in the meanwhile, God was always near and with me and my total trust in him only grew.
The sorrow about dad dying only got a little easier to deal with.. when I would tell my best friend all about it.
I was so glad God never let me down.. while people so terribly did.
Mom had a sister who was a nurse, and her name was Grete! Aunt Grete sort of took over my dad’s place.. as in, she provided us with food. Every piece of bread she could spare.. she would carefully dry.. and when there was enough of it.. she would send us a huge package with totally dried pieces of bread. Aunt Grete never was married.. as many women then weren’t. I think it had to do with horrible experiences right when the war ended.
Some russian soldiers, expecially in Berlin took that town and plundered and raped the women. Most of these women-victims never got over the shock and horror and they could not bear to be near any man.. They never married and they all had this far away look in their eyes.. I will never forget it. Aunt Grete.. I believe.. was one of them. She made it her mission in life to help her sister ” Minchen”.. my mom, and her kids, to survive these terrible times, where hunger and disease were the order of the day. Bad thing was.. aunt Grete did not like me much because she kept saying, that I was a wild child. Very little did she know that I didn’t like her either.
But I was fully aware that this lady singlehandedly saved our lives, God bless her. She looked much like mom.. those fiery green eyes, dark long hair knibbled together in a braided bun on the back of her head.. an out of this world gorgeous figure with everything in all the right places.. and of course the right amount thereof. Totally gorgeous women.. my cousins.. the daughters of Hanna, the other sister of mom’s were the most beautiful women on earth I thought, yes they all were much older than I. For some reason, I did not inherit those looks, I mean I always felt I got shortchanged when it comes to boobs, I was flat as an ironingboard. When I was a bit older I fixed this with stuffing my bra. For the time being.. this was the least of my worries, but that is not to say I did not envy my cousins for their out of this world bodies ! Lest I get derailed again, I must return to aunt Grete and some others who nothing short of.. saved our lives with their incredible selflessness and their giving !